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Update 14-11-20

  So since my last post we’ve had a growth spurt, lots more tears and screaming, lots of vomit and other wonderful baby related things. I’ve still got people patronisingly telling me I’m doing so well, me and the baby have a lovely bond blah blah. And I just don’t feel it. I do what I have to do. This morning as I grumpily boiled the kettle my husband asked me what’s the matter.m, I replied “I’m too tired to mum today, I’d like a day off”. Ironic because I can’t have the day off. Support is minimal at best, my husband works a lot and I find it very hard. I’m not enjoying it as I feel I should and sometimes resent being a mother because of the whole host of things it’s done to me. Only bonus is it freed me of my PoTs and endometriosis for an extended period of time. Huzzah. Parenthood has to be the loneliest thing I’ve ever endured. That alongside mental illness. No one talks to you. No one asks how you are. And no one wants to visit after months of “can’t wait to meet baby!!” I mea...
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Introduction

 So initially I was using wordpress but decided I preferred blogger for many reasons. So my first couple of posts are going to posted the same day as I've already published them on there.  A little about me first, I am a first time mum to a baby boy born in lockdown 2020 and to say it's been a nightmare would be an understatement. My little guy is now six weeks old and still as spewy as he was at four weeks. Just a quick one as my crotch goblin is laid across me trying his utmost to poo! Four weeks ago I became a mother for the first time. I have a long history of struggling mentally so it was no real surprise when two days ago I was advised I seem to have post natal depression and urged to go back on medication before it had a negative impact upon my baby. What’s being a mum like? Hard. Bloody hard. And harder than I thought at that. It’s the most under rated, under valued thing in the world. “Just” being a mum. I love and hate it. I resent what it’s done to my body, I am in ...
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